Cars, Cards, & Kids

My car, a 1996 Ford Crown Victoria Police Interceptor, has 188,000 miles and is still running strong. Ever since we became debt-free, I have been threatening to buy a newer model. Because my beautiful spouse works two jobs and refuses to buy name brand anything, I have been given the green light to upgrade my ride. I have my eye on a 2004 or 2005 model Interceptor. The suspension was upgraded in model year 2003 and the horsepower was raised to 250 in 2004. I think I can get my hands on a car with at least 100,000 less miles on it than mine for about $5,000. Bethany's niece Jessie is almost 17 and is needing a safe and cheap car, so after getting a thorough safety inspection, my current car will be hers. We both win!

Upon further discussion with my gainfully employed spouse, it became apparent that she isn't quite comfortable with the idea of my testing the professional poker player waters. I am a decent player and I've been studying more now than I ever did in college, but since she's throwing me a bone with a new car I have decided to put my poker plans on the back burner. Still, if we ever get our stimulus check, I'd like to have a little fun with some of the money.

We answered even more questions from our social worker yesterday in an effort to move the adoption process along. We are now waiting for Homeland Security to make an appointment for us to get re-fingerprinted for background checks and THEN, then we think we will be done with everything on our end. After that, we will wait to hear final word from China and within 6 to 8 weeks of that we will fly across the world to meet our son. We have read three baby name books and are still not sure what to name the little guy, so we welcome your suggestions. His Chinese name is Jiang Yizhan, but that's a bit of a mouthful so feel free to submit your ideas.

The Week in Sports

Alex's last baseball game of the season took place on Thursday. He got a couple hits and made some good plays in the field. Perhaps more importantly, he looked darn good doing it.

Bethany and Charla competed in another triathlon, this time in Cameron, MO. Bethany finished 6th in her age group while Char received a medal for finishing 3rd. And yes, they looked darn good doing it.

On Saturday night, Doug and I challenged our wives to some hoops action. The boys won both games despite some elbows and hips being used as weapons by the girls. They made excuses, too. Something about completing a triathlon hours earlier and drinking wine. Blah. blah, blah. All that matters is that the husbands emerged victorious. And we looked darn good doing it, too.

PS: I tried to upload several really good photos to accompany this posting, but my horrifically slow dial-up connection won't cooperate today!!! There are drawbacks to living in B.F.E.

While You Were Working...

Here is a list of some of the things I've been up to this week:

1. Helped coach Alex's baseball team.
2. Played softball.
3. Went fishing with Alex in Clear Creek in Rock Bridge State Park.
4. Read "Treasure of Khan" by Clive Cussler.
5. Took Alex to the dentist to get his first cavity filled.
6. Took pictures of a chubby possum eating our cats' food on the back porch.
7. Gave our pet rats a bath.
8. Chatted with friends online.
9. Made homemade pizzas for dinner.
10. Played video games with Alex.
11. Rekindled some old friendships.
12. Watched a couple Cardinals games on TV.
13. Drank six beers.
14. Played fetch with the dogs. (Yes, Princess is learning the game.)
15. Rode bikes with Alex.

I never get bored. Retirement is pretty awesome.

Theta Xi

Did you know that I was a "founding father" of a fraternity? In the fall of 1990, about a dozen of us guys at Mizzou got together and formed our own fraternity. Our house was a combination of what you would get if you combined the houses in "Animal House", "Revenge of the Nerds", and "Old School." I was fond of saying, "Travis Naughton- rush chair. Damn glad to meet you." In 1991, we actually rented our first 'Fraternity House" and it was glorious. Before we could move in we filled two flatbed trailers full of trash that we cleaned out from the previous tenants. A putrid bag of potatoes in the pantry actually moved on its own right before our eyes. You couldn't count the number of maggots in it. We cleaned the bathrooms with oven cleaner to remove years of unmentionable filth build up on every surface. Somehow we made the place livable and 13 of us moved in. While we lived there, many unforgettable events took place that can only be retold over a few beers and a lot of laughs.

At its peak, Theta Xi had nearly 40 members. We had official "Colony" status from the national organization while we awaited our permanent "charter." We even had a colonization ceremony. (Recall the scene in Revenge of the Nerds when the big, black president of the national "Tri-Lam" fraternity came to give the nerds their charter.) That was us! We went on road trips to Ames, Iowa; Rolla (for St. Patrick's Day); Cape Girardo (to be at the epicenter of the New Madrid earthquake that never happened); and Carbondale, Illinois (where we partied at Fred's Dance Barn, a combination of Bob's Country Bunker from "The Blues Brothers" and "Porky's" bar.) Long story short: we had a lot of fun as members of the fraternity.

After a few years, Theta Xi lost members to graduation, flunking out, prison, and sobriety. Today, Theta Xi Fraternity, MU Colony is no more than a blurry collection of memories. I had the good fortune to recall those good times and visit with two of my "brothers" yesterday at a park in Columbia. Tom Hancock and Rich Gleba lived in the notorious house at 1611 University with me and 10 other brothers. It has been 18 years since we first met and nearly that long since we last saw each other. On Sunday, we spent over two hours getting caught up and learning about each other all over again. We shared stories and laughed a lot. That's what I remember most about the time we all lived together- we laughed a lot. When you are an 18 year old freshman in college you have no idea that the life you are living will be so fondly remembered and so sorely missed after another 18 years have passed. I hope that we can get the old gang together for a 20 year reunion so that all of us can re-live those glory days. In the meantime, if you are a former Theta Xi brother and have contact info for others, please send me an email so we can start to coordinate a get together. Of course we'll have a keg for the party, Bill. Only this time, we won't have to build a false wall in our house to conceal it.

Adoption Update

I wanted to take a moment to bring you up to speed on where we are in the adoption process. We were informed yesterday that we have received "Pre-approval" status from the Chinese. Next, we need to have our social worker update our file to reflect that we are capable of raising a "special needs" child. Then we have to renew our visa applications and resubmit fingerprints for criminal background checks. Once all of that is done, China will give us a Letter of Seeking Conformation. This will be the referral that officially grants us the approval to adopt our little boy. Our agency seems to think that this should happen in a few weeks. Then China will send us a travel itinerary and we will hop on a plane a few weeks later. So, we are getting close. It has been 13 months since we were officially "logged-in" to China's adoption program. It has been 20 months since we started the adoption process. It has been over 5 years since we began trying to add another child to our family. Needless to say, we are quite anxious to complete this process. The hardest part now, though, is knowing that our son is all the way on the other side of the world waiting for his mommy and daddy to come and take him home. "We'll be there as soon as we can, kiddo! Hang in there, buddy."

Thanks to everyone for your support, prayers, and well-wishes. We really appreciate it.

It's like riding a bike...

Alex is seven years old. That's how old I was when the training wheels came off and I learned how to ride a bike. Alex hasn't had much of a chance to practice riding even with training wheels due to the fact that we live on a rough gravel road. So yesterday I took him to the parking lot at his school for some practice- without training wheels.

My first instruction to him was that no matter how frustrated either of us would get there would be no yelling at one another. He agreed. I also added that no matter how many times I repeated an instruction, he should just say "okay" instead of his usual "DAD! I know!" He agreed. Though it may seem counterintuitive, we began our lesson with learning how to stop. Alex practiced applying the brake while I held the bike up for him. Then he practiced catching his balance with his feet off the pedals. Then I pushed the bike around and held on while he tried to keep the bike from leaning too far either direction. So far so good. It was time to let go.

At first, I had Alex push himself around the parking lot with his feet touching the ground. He was quickly able to cruise for a few feet without touching the ground. Then I had him put one foot on a pedal and the other on the ground. He looked like he was using a scooter (which he is pretty good at riding). Well I guess that's when it clicked for him. In no time at all he was able to get some momentum going by pushing off with one foot and the next thing you know- he starting pedalling. After a few shaky starts he was soon able to pedal for 20 or 30 feet without stopping. Within 20 minutes of his first attempt, he was riding circles around the parking lot and was so comfortable he was actually whistling while he rode. It was amazing to watch.

Needless to say, I was quite the proud papa. I was cheering and clapping and smiling so much my cheeks hurt. And Alex was proud, too. At one point, he rode over to where I was sitting and ditched his bike. As he walked toward me I asked, "What's wrong?" He said, "I just wanted to give you this..." and he gave me a great big hug. Then he hopped back on his bike and rode across the parking lot, weaving and whistling all the way. And I sat there on that curb thinking to myself that my little boy wasn't so little any more.

Maiden Voyage

Yesterday, I called a guy who posted an ad for a 4 horsepower boat motor on craig'slist. Bethany picked it up in Holt Summit on her way home from work. Today, Alex and I loaded up the boat with all our fishing gear, slapped the motor on the back, hooked it up to the old truck and headed to Little Dixie Lake. (Yes, I tested the motor first.)

On our way, we had to stop at the Department of Revenue to get the boat and trailer licensed, but that didn't slow us down too much. Anyway, we made it to the lake and "sped" across the water with no problems. The old motor (an old, old Montgomery Ward model built by Chrysler) ran great. Within minutes, Alex caught the first ever fish in our new boat. It was a really nice bluegill and he landed it with no help from old dad whatsoever. I was mighty proud and he was, too.

We puttered around the lake for a few more hours never catching another fish but we didn't care. It was already a perfect day.

Confidence

Years ago, in an ad campaign for aftershave (I think), Jack Palance used to say, "Confidence is sexy- don't you think?" I say, "Yes", Jack. My loyal followers know from reading over 350 blogger, myspace, and facebook posts that I do not lack confidence. I am unapologetically myself- and I like that. With that in mind, I have two things to share with you.

On Saturday, while my family was in Hannibal and I was left at home alone to care for our small zoo of pets, I decided to mow the yard. It was hot that day and when I completed the task I went inside and disrobed in anticipation of a soothing shower. As I walked through the house, I noticed that there was a lot of dog hair on the floor, so I decided to vacuum. Before I knew it I also mopped the kitchen and living room. Then I made beds and straightened up the rest of the house. In no time at all, my to-do list was done. And yes, I did all of my housework completely in the buff. Go ahead, let that image burn a hole through your mind's eye. (Not you, Mom.) I knew that if any supermodels showed up to borrow a cup of sugar they would not have looked away. I know that I am a smokin' hottie. That's confidence.

I've been mulling over another diversion that requires confidence as well. Poker. Everybody knows that I'll do most anything to avoid having to work for a living. That got me to thinking of ways to make money without having a job. The only thing I could think of that would be plausible would be to become a professional poker player. It is plausible. Thousands of other people with unused college degrees have already answered the calling, so why couldn't I? What do they have that I don't? Experience? I've played a few rounds of cards in my life. I've lost a lot of those times, but I've won a few, too. Know-how? I study the poker pros on TV. I learn from playing with "the guys". I have started reading books on the subject. (Currently reading "Super/System 2" by Doyle Brunson.) Proximity to a casino? St. Louis and K.C. have plenty of poker rooms within a two-hour drive. Someone to help get me started? My good friend Jerry is becoming quite familiar with the poker rooms in St. Louis, Mississippi, and Vegas. He'll be a good resource for getting me into the swing of things. Bankroll? Three words: economic stimulus check. Confidence? Please. I think I've got that one covered. Do you know anybody else who would have the stones to stage an assassination attempt while delivering an address to the student body as the Student Council president in high school? For those of you who don't know, I had the "shooter" fire a cap gun painted black and had my "bodyguards" (who were wearing dark suits and sunglasses) leap from the stage to drag him out of the auditorium while two other guards whisked me offstage. That kind of stunt would fall under the "zero-tolerance" rules today and would have ended my participation in public schools. (Oh, you should have heard the screams!) Brash. Bold. Confident. So do I think I have what it takes to make it as a poker player? I wouldn't bet against it.

I think it's time to do some more housework...

Taking Over the Internet

Al Gore may have invented the Internet, but I am seizing it in a non-violent coup d' etat. I have just launched my own Facebook page. I also have this blog and a myspace page plus I am a contributor to Paul & the Violent Farmers' blog and co-creator of the "Bill & Trav's Excellent Adventures" blog as well. I may have too much time on my hands.

It's time to wake up and smell the writing on the wall, people: Blog Daddy is taking over the world. Be afraid. Be very afraid. Or at least be annoyed. I'll settle for that.

"Retirement" Chore List

I find that it is helpful to make a list when faced with a daunting number of tasks to complete. Our list is below. (That economic stimulus check sure would be nice right about now. Oh, yeah- we're still waiting for ours.)

1. Repaint Alex's bedroom in advance of his new brother's arrival. Alex wants a Chinese dragon theme.
2. Build a loft/bunk beds in boys' room.
3. Remove wallpaper & repaint kitchen.
4. Haul away junk that's in and around the barn.
5. Add gravel/pave barn floor.
6. Re-roof the party porch.
7. Get boat & trailer licensed.
8. Have car worked on. (I got a recall notice for it that says the cruise control will catch fire spontaneously. It also needs an oil change and possibly new ball joints.)
9. Add gravel to the driveway.
10. Clear fallen trees from hiking trails. (The ice storm created a lot of firewood at least.)
11. Install koi pond near the party porch.

These are just some of the tasks that I am faced with this summer. How am I gonna have my summer of fun and still get all of this stuff done? I don't know. Maybe Extreme Makeover Home Edition will swoop in and magically get all of it done for me. And Overhaulin' can trick out my car, too. That would be sweet.