Many of you out there have already heard the news: I'm gonna be a daddy again! This time, to a precious six year old girl from Daqing City, China. Found abandoned on a sidewalk on April 7th, 2004 with her umbillical cord still attached, she was taken to a hospital where doctors determined that she had probably been born the previous day.
No one can say for sure why she was abandoned by her biological parents, but simply being born female in a society that favors male heirs was the likely reason. Many times in these cases, the mother wants to keep her baby girl, but her family will pressure her to abandon the child and try again for a boy. The reason for this is quite simple. In China, a boy will eventually take care of his parents when he grows up while girls have to take care of their husband's parents. Who will take care of a girl's aging parents? No one. So in a country where each family is only allowed to have one child, boys are in high demand. What happens if you have a girl? You drop the child off in a public place and hope she is discovered before succumbing to the elements or starvation. Then you go home and try to give your husband a son.
The girl found abandoned that day was brought to an orphanage where she was soon diagnosed with cerebral palsy. As she grew up, she struggled to walk, but her personality and mental development was as normal as any child's. Eventually, she had two achilles operations to make it easier for her to walk and it is reported that today she is able to get around on her own, albeit slowly. Despite having lived with this disability and without a family to love her for the first six years of her life, she has become a smiling, talkative, and typical six-year-old girl. The resilience of children amazes me.
We spotted Tian Tian's photo on the website of our adoption agency months and months ago. As we have been filling out forms, getting background checks done, and having our entire lives scrutinized for our homestudy, we have been keeping an eye on this beautiful girl on the Waiting Children (special needs) list. We were selfishly hoping that no other family would apply for her before our paperwork was completed because we knew that she belonged with us. Fate agreed apparently, and yesterday we were informed that the officials in China approved us for adopting our little girl. We are overjoyed of course.
"Tian Tian" means "more and more" which seems pretty appropriate. We feel more and more connected to her every day. Our home has become filled with more and more love as we have filled it with more and more kids. The joy in my heart grows more and more as I share my life with my growing family. Hopefully, Tian Tian will love us more and more as she gets to know us. With Bethany's therapy skills, our daughter will become more and more independent as she learns to overcome her physical obstacles. More and more, I feel like I am the luckiest man who ever lived.
More and more, I am convinced that I was born to be a dad. I'm not the best at it, but I'm not the worst either. I can't tell you how much I've looked forward to being wrapped around a daughter's little finger. When Bethany and I first started thinking about adoption five years ago, we wanted a girl. Then Truman came along and happily altered that plan. But before we found him, I had bought a Chinese tea set as a birthday gift for my mom. I told her how much I looked forward to watching her have tea parties with her granddaughter some day. Unfortunately, that day will never come, but you can bet that my daughter and I will drink from that tea set as soon as we have the chance and have a toast to Nonna. Somewhere, my mom will say, "Ya done good, son. Ya done good."
As usual, she'll be right.
