Tuesday, January 26, 2010

I'm Gonna Live!

After two EKGs, an ultrasound, a stress test, and bloodwork, it has been determined by a bona fide cardiologist that my irregular heart beat is nothing to worry about and that I am perfectly healthy.

"Your bloodwork came back absolutely perfect. It is exactly what you want to see in a man your age. I couldn't be more pleased with the results," the good doctor said.

"Great," my wife sighed. "Now I have to hear about how perfect you are for the next year or so."

She's just jealous because I eat like a human garbage disposal, rarely exercise, and manage to keep my cholesterol levels perfect.

"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful- and healthy."

Monday, January 25, 2010

At Last

I started to write a novel way back in 2005. I muddled through the first four chapters until I realized that the awkward work of fiction could never be completed. I began a second novel in 2008 that had great potential, but suffered the same problem as the first: it was forced, contrived, and not very good.

Today, I just completed authoring my first book. I gave up on the idea of a fictional version of my life's story because in my case, the truth is way more entertaining than fiction. My non-fiction collection of humorous and sometimes poignant essays combine to form a memoir of sorts, although I am hesitant to use that term to describe the book. Rather, I compare it to a music album. Each song is strong enough to stand on its own, but when played in order on a full-length record, they combine to create a cohesive volume of work. Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon" album is a good example of what I mean. Any particular song on that album is a hit. But when you play the entire record from start to finish, you discover a masterpiece.

My book may not be a masterpiece, but it is the culmination of a lifetime of mistakes, adventures, highs, and lows that when written about in this form, combine to become my greatest creative achievement. My life's story is tragic and triumphant. It is disturbing at times and inspiring at others. The reader will want to slap me one minute and hug me the next. My hope is that it will entertain and enlighten whomever is brave or bored enough to read it.

So keep an eye open and watch for "Naked Snow Angels" to come to a bookstore near you; hopefully in the not-so-distant future. And thank you for all of the encouragement you have given me throughout this process and throughout my life.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Almost There

I just finished writing my 21st chapter. 219 pages and 70,000+ words. I think I've got another three chapters to go and then I will be done with the first draft of "Naked Snow Angels." I have edited as I've added new chapters, so I don't think the revision process will be too lengthy. Hopefully, I will have a finished manuscript ready to submit to publishers within a few weeks.

My family is rooting for me. The boys have been feeling a little neglected lately and Bethany no doubt feels that the house chores are being neglected, too. So the sooner I get this book done and things get back to normal, the better.

Stay tuned...

Monday, January 18, 2010

The End is Near

I just finished writing the 19th chapter of my book. I know I shouldn't get hung-up on page counts, but I am at 189 so far with at least four or five more chapters to go. So I'm feeling pretty good about my progress. Word count: 61,500+.

Let's get the buzz going on the internet right now. Hopefully, by the time I submit my manuscript, publishers will be fighting each other for the chance to buy "Naked Snow Angels" by Travis A. Naughton. (Free autographs to all my friends when you buy your copy!)

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Silly Me

I'm new to the field of "legitimate" writing. My third attempt to pen a full-length book is progressing nicely, but I was beginning to become concerned about the relatively small amount of completed pages I had produced compared to my total word count. This morning I re-read the chapter on submitting a manuscript in my copy of "Getting Your Book Published For Dummies." Turns out, I should have been double spacing my type-written pages all along.

I am happy to report that I have written 19 chapters, 54,000+ words, and 167 standard format pages. Now we're gettin' somewhere!

Monday, January 11, 2010

Snow Honey

After Bethany and Alex left for work and school this morning, Truman and I settled back under the covers to watch cartoons and get a little more rest. Within two minutes, the phone rang.
"Hello?"
"I'm stuck in the stupid driveway in a stupid snowdrift and now we're going to be late," my lovely wife said with a tinge of rage in her voice.
"Oh, okay. Just give me a minute," I replied while shaking the sleep from my brain in an effort to comprehend what she was saying. I hung up the phone and walked to the kitchen window. I looked outside, but saw no van in the driveway. Confused, I called Bethany back.
"Hello?" It was Alex.
"Hey buddy. Let me talk to Mommy."
"She said to ask what you want."
"I want to know where you guys are. I don't see you in the driveway."
"We're stuck on the hill in the snow."
"Tell Mommy I need to talk to her please."
"She said she's busy."
"Too busy to talk to me? Tell her I have to talk to her right now."
"What do you want?" my sweet-natured bride began. "I'm trying to dig this van out and the gas light came on and now you're bothering me..."
"You called me, remember?"
"Well I don't have time to talk right now and I'm pissed off."
"I can tell. But I just wanted to know where you are so I could come pull you out with the truck."
"Oh. We're on the hill by the mailboxes. When I couldn't make it up on the first try I backed down for another run but went off the road into a pile of snow."
"I'll be right there." Truman and I scrambled to get dressed and jumped in the truck. I spotted the van on the gravel road at the end of our steep driveway. I parked and approached the vehicle and its distressed driver with caution.
"Thanks for coming to pull us out," Bethany said sheepishly.
"No problem. In the future, when you call someone to say you're stuck in the snow and they call back to find out exactly where you are because they are willing, early on a cold morning, to root around in the snow and come pull you out, you should probably take the call instead of insisting that you're too busy to talk and making the nine year old tell your would-be rescuer to ask, 'What does he want? and 'Tell him I can't talk right now'. Okay sweetie?"
"Okay." And then my beautiful wife smiled and laughed at herself, and I hooked the chain to her van and pulled it right up the hill. "Thank you. I love you."
My pleasure.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

50,000 words

Seventeen chapters, 88 pages, and 50,000 words are "in the book" so to speak. Thank goodness for coffee.

Friday, January 08, 2010

Book Progress

After taking a hiatus from writing during the holidays, I have jumped back in with both feet. I have now finished sixteen essays (chapters) and have written 45,000 words on 81 pages. With this progress, I am starting to see light at the end of the tunnel. I expect to write about 8 to 10 more essays before I am willing to call it done.

Does anyone know anybody in publishing?

Saturday, January 02, 2010

New Year's Resolution

I am getting old. Or so my wife and children keep telling me. They delight in pointing out each new grey hair found on my head. They make comments about my beer belly. But they also sincerely worry about my health, specifically my cardio-vascular fitness. Some families are known for their philanthropic work. Others for their success in athletics. Mine is known for having heart conditions. My grandfather had a heart attack and a quadruple bypass. My dad had a heart attack and a stint inserted into an artery. His brother just died of a heart attack on Christmas Eve. My brother Blake and I both have irregular heartbeats that lead to fatigue and a general feeling of "I'm not a doctor, but it seems like a bad thing when my heart stops beating dozens of times per day." To my knowledge, due to heart problems, no Naughton man has blown out more than 65 candles on his birthday cake. So, I think my wife may be right to worry.

My New Year's Resolution is to take care of my heart. I will try to eat more fruits and vegetables, not eat as much fried foods, and limit my alcoholic consumption to anti-oxidant rich dark beers and red wines (in moderation of course.) I'll start taking a heart-wise multi-vitamin as well. I will try to exercise more often. I have been walking on our treadmill several times per week lately and will add cycling to the mix when the weather warms up. Maybe I'll start hitting the punching bag once in a while, too, just to remind it who's boss. Finally, the best exercise for my pumper is to love my family will all of my heart. That should be the easy part I think.

Happy New Year!