Thursday, March 24, 2011

Good Luck, Coach Anderson

Just days after telling the Columbia Tribune that he planned to win a national championship with Mizzou and retire as a Tiger, Mike Anderson bolted for the University of Arkansas. Although he should have stuck with "no comment" rather than lead on Mizzou fans, I am not bitter about the coach's defection. Lots of other Tiger fans are, however. They feel betrayed. Lied to. Abandoned. We in Tiger Nation aren't used to this feeling. And here's why: No basketball or football coach has left Missouri of his own volition since the legendary Dan Devine quit to take the top job for the NFL's Green Bay Packers in 1970.

Think about that. Every single Missouri coach for the last 40+ years has been fired (or in Norm Stewart's case "encouraged to retire" by Mike Alden.) None of these men ever dared to leave the University of Missouri to pursue greener pastures. Not one. Some Mizzou fans are calling Anderson a traitor. That's ridiculous. He was an assistant at Arkansas for 17 years, so if anything, he is just going home. It's not like he left us for Kansas or anything.

Here's one more thing for bitter MU fans to consider. Anderson's style of play "The Fastest 40 Minutes in Basketball" is a gimmick. It is basically a frenetic full-court press that lasts the entire game as opposed to most teams' half-court style of play. It is entertaining to watch, but really good teams such as Kansas, Texas, UConn, etc can beat a press and punish you for stubbornly sticking with it. Anderson's teams have had a hard time adapting when their opponent beats their press. At times his players looked clueless during games this season. They got flustered and made silly turnovers and fouls. They yelled at each other on the court and during timeouts. They only won one conference road game all year. In short, the shine wore off Anderson's gimmicky game.

So do not be bitter, Tiger fans. Join me in wishing Coach Anderson the best of luck at Arkansas (except if Mizzou plays against him). He seems like a good person, a family man. He is back home with his family and that's alright with me. Our paths may cross again some day, which would be pretty neat. Not since 1972 when Al Onofio's football Tigers beat Dan Devine's Notre Dame Fighting Irish have MU fans had the chance to cheer our team to victory against a former Tiger coach. An Missouri-Arkansas meeting in the NCAA tournament sure would be fun to watch wouldn't it?

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Parenting is very glamourous...

Truman had a fever the other day and wasn't feeling too whippy, so I told him to go lay down in my bed and watch some cartoons while the Children's Advil worked its magic. A short time later he emerged from my bedroom to tell me he accidentally drooled on his blankie. I told him this was not a big deal and we went on with our day. When Bethany got home from work, he told her the same thing, so she grabbed the blankie and tossed it in the laundry hamper without giving it another thought.

That night, she and I got to bed at about 2:00am, both of us dead tired after a long day and a "date night" in town. As my weary head hit the pillow, a strange odor wafted over me. I examined the pillow and the bed, but saw nothing. Exhausted, I lay back down and tried to put the stench out of my mind. But that was impossible. I woke my bride up by exclaiming, "The bed smells like ass."

Bethany said, "I don't smell anything, just let me go to sleep, please." I did as I was told, but as my face was buried under the sheets, the aroma started to overwhelm me and a great realization occurred to me: The bed did not smell like ass. It smelled like vomit.

"Honey," I pleaded, "I think Truman puked on his blankie--and our bed."

To which she replied, "He said he drooled. Maybe he sweat a lot when his fever broke and that's what you're smelling."

I said, "I know what puke smells like. I'm telling you, he barfed in our bed. I can't sleep in this."

"Well it doesn't smell on my side. Just roll over here and we'll change the sheets tomorrow." She seemed so unaffected by it all.

"Honey, I love you, but if someone took a dump three feet from your head, would you just roll over and deal with it in the morning?" How could she argue with THAT logic?

"Fine! I just wanted some sleep dammit. Is that too much too ask?" She jumped out of bed and as she started stripping the sheets, the funk started to spread throughout the room.

"Can't you smell that?" I gagged. It was horrible. I grabbed the offending linens and hurried them down to the laundry room. I pulled Truman's blankie out of the hamper and as I tossed it into the washing machine, a wave of noxious fumes doubled me over as waves of nausea cemented my theory that our four-year-old had in fact barfed in our bed. I had to stop twice to compose myself as I tried to fit the king-sized sheets, my pillow, and that damned blankie into the washer. My vision was so blurred by the tears in my eyes that I struggled to find the detergent. As I finally closed the lid and started the wash cycle, Bethany walked in--apparently tired of waiting for me to bring the clean sheets. She saw that her spouse was suffering and detected the hint of vomit scent lingering in the air. And then she laughed at me. She laughed all the way up the stairs. She laughed as we walked into our bedroom. She laughed as we put on the clean sheets. She laughed as I ripped off my t-shirt which had evidently absorbed some of the fragrance du jour. She laughed as she admitted that perhaps the four-year-old misspoke when he said he drooled on his blankie. She laughed as she acknowledged that maybe he had in fact puked on my side of the bed. She laughed as I screamed "And you were gonna make me lay in another human being's vomit all night long because you were too tired to get up and change the sheets!" And then I laughed, too, and took a scalding hot shower to strip away any remnants of the carnage that may have remained in my hair or on my person. And she was still laughing when I came back to bed.

Parenting is very glamorous.

Saturday, March 05, 2011

I DID IT!!!


Ladies and gentlemen, Travis Naughton fans of all ages, I am proud to announce that after several false starts over the past several years, I have fishished writing my book Naked Snow Angels, The Authorized Biography of Travis A. Naughton!!! What a feeling!
I plan on self-publishing a few copies to start some home-grown publicity going and then I will start submitting it (and hopefully some good reviews/recommendations) to publishers very soon. Thanks for all your support (and in some cases for providing me with some great material). Wish me luck and stay tuned for further developments.
Wa-hoooooo!!!!!!!!

Friday, March 04, 2011

Adoption Update

Yesterday, we received a packet in the mail from our adoption agencey Children's Hope International. One piece of paper was of particular interest: we got word that on February 18 our dossier was officially logged in at the China Center for Adoption Affairs (CCAA). Normally, families can expect to wait up to four years after they receive a log-in-date (L.I.D.) to get their Chinese child. In our case, since our daughter is on the "Waiting Children" list (for special needs or older children) we can expect to travel to China within a few months.

Although we are still at the mercy of the CCAA, at least we are one official step closer to being united with our little girl. As Tom Petty so eloquently put it, "The waiting is the hardest part..." We're coming Mei-Mei, hang in there!