Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Truman's First Bus Ride


(Originally published in the 8-22-12 edition of the Boone County Journal)

Dear Bus Bullies,

Thank you for apologizing to my son Truman for the way you treated him on the school bus last week. Although your apology only came after school officials confronted you about your behavior, I will assume that you are genuinely remorseful following your insensitive actions. I would like to think that because you are so young yourselves, you did not know how hurtful your comments were to my young child. I am grateful to the staff at your school for addressing this situation immediately, and I am hopeful that you will never treat another person in this manner again.

I feel that it is very important to let you know a little more about the person you were being so mean to that day. Truman is five years old, and the day you teased him was only his second day of kindergarten. Having picked him up at school the previous day, Thursday afternoon was his first-ever ride on a school bus. He had been looking forward to that ride for a long time—ever since he first saw his big brother Alex step off that big yellow bus nearly four years ago. Imagine how upset I was when I greeted Truman at the bus stop and asked him how he liked his first bus ride and he said, “Some kids made fun of my hand.”

I am not naïve. I know that kids sometimes tease people who are different. I expected this situation to present itself at some point. I just didn’t expect it on Truman’s first-ever bus ride. It breaks my heart to know that what should have been a wonderful and fun memory will be forever tainted by your unfortunate choice to make my son feel bad about himself. From what I understand, you loudly proclaimed that Truman’s left hand was gross. You yelled, “Ew!” when you saw that he only has three fingers instead of five. I could excuse your reaction if you had immediately stopped drawing attention to Truman’s deformity and apologized, but witnesses claim that you continued to make a big deal about it even after several of your peers told you to cut it out. In other words, you knew what you were doing was wrong and that it could hurt Truman’s feelings, but you continued anyway. Shame on you.

You should know a few things about the little boy you bullied that day. Truman was born in China almost six years ago. A day or so later, he was found on a sidewalk in a big city after being abandoned by his biological parents. No one knows for sure why he was abandoned, but our best guess is because of his deformed left hand and foot. In some cultures, birth defects are considered a curse against a family and the innocent baby is often abandoned—or worse. Truman was lucky, because someone found him on the sidewalk and brought him to an orphanage before it was too late. My wife and I were lucky, too, because we were able to adopt him when he was two years old and bring him home to live with us here in Ashland.

Have you ever seen the movie “Finding Nemo”? It is about a young fish who was lucky enough to survive an attack by a barracuda that left him with a deformed fin which he and his dad called his “lucky fin.” Well, we call Truman’s left hand his “lucky hand” because it was likely what started the chain of events that brought us together. He is proud of his lucky hand and has never felt self-conscious about it for a single moment. It is just a part of who he is, and he is a wonderful human being. Truman is a lively, happy, funny, and positive kid. His spirit shines so brightly that he makes everyone around him feel glad just to know him. And yet, you tried to make him feel bad about his hand. You tried to make him feel bad about who he is. How would you feel if someone tried to make you feel that way?

I tend to believe the best about people, so I choose to believe that you are good kids who just made a bad choice. Learn from your mistakes and grow as people. And get to know my Truman. You’ll be glad you did.

Love & Fried Chicken


(Originally published in the 8-8-12 edition of the Boone County Journal)

In defending his company’s stance against same-sex marriage, Chick-Fil-A president Dan Cathy recently stated his business is “based on biblical principles, asking God and pleading with God to give us wisdom on decisions we make about people and the programs and partnerships we have.” One of the partnerships Mr. Cathy’s company maintains is with an organization called the Family Research Council, an outfit classified as an anti-gay hate group by the Southern Law Poverty Center. According to its own records, the FRC recently lobbied members of the United States Congress against supporting a resolution that denounced Uganda’s notorious “Kill the Gays” bill that calls for anyone convicted of committing a homosexual act to be put to death. Leviticus 20:13 does state, “If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.”

So, it would appear that Chick-Fil-A supports the biblical principle that homosexuals must be executed, right? No, you say? That’s not what Mr. Cathy said, you insist. Surely you do not mean to imply that Mr. Cathy or other devout Christians can pick and choose which verses of the bible to accept or reject. The Lord clearly said in Leviticus 20:22, “Keep all my decrees and laws and follow them.” So, if the bible calls for homosexuals and adulterers to be put to death, then it must be done. The scripture also calls for anyone who curses their mother or father to be put to death, too. (How would any of us survive our teenaged years if this law was followed to the letter?) Or what about in Deuteronomy 22:28-29 when God commands that when a virgin is raped, her attacker must pay her father a fine and then they must marry and never get divorced?

If we are to cite the bible as a reason to keep same-sex couples from being married, then we must follow every word of the scripture. If we reject even one passage because we feel it is antiquated or unjust, then the authority of the rest of the book is called into question. Not comfortable with making rape victims marry their attackers? Not convinced that cursing your father warrants being executed? Me neither. Plenty of bible passages mention examples of marriage that would be considered “non-traditional” in today’s world. King David had eight wives and ten concubines, for example. That doesn’t fit very well with many Christians’ biblical definition of marriage as being between one man and one woman. Since the bible can contradict itself, and because most of us in the modern age don’t accept all the severe punishments it calls for, we must therefore reject the bible as a basis for defining marriage.

How then, can we define marriage? I define it as a lawful union between two people who love one another and who have pledged the rest of their lives to each other. As an ordained minister, I have had the privilege of performing wedding ceremonies for several couples recently. Unfortunately, in Missouri and most states, same-sex marriage is illegal and I am not able to solemnize the marriages of my gay friends. I compare this injustice to pre-civil rights laws that prevented mixed-race marriages. I wonder if those who came out to support Chick-Fil-A last week would have done so if the company openly advocated against the rights of blacks to marry whites. I submit to you that being gay or straight is as much of a choice as being black or white. I have several gay and lesbian friends and I know for a fact that they did not choose to be homosexual. I have seen with my own eyes how dedicated these couples are to one another. It breaks my heart that in this relatively enlightened age, some people dedicate themselves to ensuring that my gay friends can never be married to the people they love.

A friend said I was being intolerant by boycotting a business for exercising their free speech rights. I am boycotting Chick-Fil-A for their financial support of organizations that advocate outlawing homosexuality and same-sex marriage. To me, their effort to marginalize a segment of the population is the definition of intolerance. For that reason, in the battle between love and fried chicken, I choose love.