Gotcha Day

For anyone who has ever adopted, the day that you first met your child is celebrated just like a birthday. For many families, that day is called, "Gotcha Day" because that's "the day we gotcha." I am one of those lucky fathers fortunate enough to have both witnessed the birth of his biological child and experienced the joy of being handed his adoptive child after a long, long wait. Both events were life changing and more emotional than I could ever accurately describe.

As Alex was being born, on October 3rd, 2000, his heartrate dropped drastically while the doctor was trying to coax him out of his cozy little hideaway. Suddenly the medical staff leaped into action and as I was trying to soothe Bethany, my eyes met the panicked look on a nurses face. With no time to ease the baby out, the doctor abandoned her gentle and patient approach and basically yanked Alex into the world. It was not a beautiful moment. It was terrifying. For a while, he didn't make a sound, although his mama more than made up for that. Let's just say this: she used no anesthesia, and Alex weighed ten pounds. (I don't know how anyone can consider women to be the weaker sex.) A few breathless moments later, we finally heard a cry, and I was reduced to a quivering heap of sweat and tears. I whispered in Bethany's ear, "I never want us to go through that again. Next time, we're adopting a little girl from China."

Six years later and apparently unable to conceive another child, I remembered my prophetic statement in the delivery room. Bethany agreed that fate was telling us that we were not meant to bring another hungry mouth into the world. We would adopt. After two years of waiting for a baby girl, we found a picture of a beautiful, healthy two-year-old boy on our adoption agency's website. The listing included pictures of his left hand, which was missing two fingers and his left foot which was missing three toes. For these birth defects, he was abandoned on the side of the road by his birth parents and was found by a concerned stranger who then brought him to the local police station. After unsuccessfully trying to find his birth parents, he was brought to an orphanage where he spent the first year of his life with no mother or father to love him. He was lucky to be placed in a foster home after his first birthday where he remained for the second year of his life.

On Novemeber 3rd, 2008, we were escorted into a dingy room in an old government run hotel in Nanning, China. Along with our new friends Lisa and James Foard, who were adopting a beautiful five-year-old girl they would name Avery, we were told to sit and wait. "Whatever you do, don't cry. Crying upset babies," our translator/guide David warned us. We all knew we would fall to pieces when we saw our children for the first time, like any parent does when their child is born, but we resolved to be strong. Imagine laying eyes on your beautiful child for the first time, holding them, hugging and kissing them, but trying not to get emotional! Well, we somehow managed to hold it together when after an seemingly endless wait, a beautiful little boy was carried into the room and quickly handed straight over to Bethany. I think we both were so overwhelmed with emotion that we kind of had to go into "shutdown mode" to avoid breaking down in front of the child. We were trembling, but smiling and nodding when the "aunties" from the orphanage and the foster mother were telling us about our little bundle of joy. He was given the name Jiang Yizhan and was called "Zhan-Zhan" (which sounds kinda like "John-John"). We introduced ourselves to him as "Mama" and "Baba" (Chinese for Daddy). We had learned how to say "I love you" in the Chinese language course we had taken. "Wo a'i ni," (pronounced "whoa I knee") we told him over and over. "Baba a'i ni." Daddy loves you. "Baba a'i Zhan-Zhan." Then, "Ni shi Truman." (You are Truman.) Finally, we braved, "Baba qing-qing" (pronounced cheeng-cheeng) and "Mama qing-qing." Give daddy a kiss. Give mommy a kiss. And he did it! I will never be able to find the words to describe the joy that that first kiss gave me.

So here we all are, one year later, getting along as if Truman Jiang were born into this family. He's a Naughton thru-and-thru. Crazy, tempermental, funny, ornery. We love him as much as we love Alex. We know now that we were never meant to have another biological child. We were meant to fly halfway around the world and import the greatest item ever "Made in China." Happy Gotcha Day Truman. Baba a'i ni!