Is a writer who never writes really a writer? In the nearly four months since my eight-year career as a newspaper columnist for the Boone County Journal came to an unceremonious end, I have only written sporadically for this blog. In fact, it has been two months since my most recent post, and that is simply unacceptable.
I started blogging fifteen or sixteen years ago. What began as a way to entertain myself and a few friends turned into a deeply satisfying creative outlet. I experimented with different writing styles, perspectives, and voices, and by 2009, I decided to write a book. In 2011, I published Naked Snow Angels, a fictionalized memoir created from a collection of short stories I had been working on for several years.
Having self-published and self-promoted a full-length book that managed to sell a few hundred copies, I began to secretly consider myself a writer. I started writing for the Boone County Journal that same year, and when new acquaintances inquired about my occupation, I said, with some trepidation, "I'm a writer."
I liked the way that sounded. Actually, I LOVED it. As the years went by, I felt more and more comfortable referring to myself as a writer. What else would you call a person who has written four hundred newspaper columns and four books?
Although I haven't written much lately, I am still a writer. A favorite pastime of writers is making excuses for not writing. My excuses are fairly legitimate, I think. First, I was hired to teach music at Southern Boone Primary School full-time last fall. Having no formal training in music education, I have had to devote virtually all of my energy and spare time to coming up with engaging lesson plans for 475 students in kindergarten through second grade. I'm happy to report that the results of my efforts have exceeded my wildest expectations.
I have discovered that I am a pretty damn good music teacher. My seven years of substitute teaching experience and a lifetime of music-related experiences have helped me achieve my ultimate goal of getting my young students to fall in love with music. The feedback I have received from the kids, their parents, their grandparents, their classroom teachers, and my administrators has lead me to believe that my skills as an educator may rival my skills as a writer.
Do I sound boastful? Yep. But more importantly, I'm being completely honest. I'm really good at my job.
So far this year, I have taught my students about tribal drums, baroque, classical, and Asian genres of orchestral music, jugband music, bluegrass, and ballet. The kids have played drums and various other percussion and homemade instruments. We've learned how to prepare for and perform in concerts. We've learned about pitch, tempo, rhythm, dynamics, tone, vocal performance, instrumental performance, notation, and composition. Kids as young as six years old have learned how to write short melodies. In the coming months, we will study the history of modern music including country, blues, rock, funk, disco, reggae, Latin, Cuban, jazz, and pop. Next week, I will teach 475 schoolchildren about the Carter Family, Bob Wills, Patsy Cline, and Willie Nelson and then we will sing Hank Williams' "I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry" while I attempt to play guitar.
Despite my passion and talents, the great state of Missouri does not think I am qualified to teach music permanently. Because my undergraduate grade point average was lower than an arbitrary number some politician came up with, I am not eligible for an alternate teaching certification program available to people who posses a bachelor's degree and prior teaching experience. According to the Department of Elementary and Secondary Education (DESE), no exceptions to the GPA requirement can be made in any circumstance whatsoever.
My only option, then, would be to go back to college and earn either a bachelor's in music education or a master's in education with an additional step of taking a content-area exam in music. Both options would involve at least 2-3 years of coursework, and after taking a few prerequisite classes online, I have had to admit to myself that at this point in my life, I simply have no desire to make that kind of commitment and sacrifice.
Between teaching full-time, being a parent to three amazing kids, being a husband, and being a writer, there is little time or energy left to commit to being a full-time graduate student. Therefore, I am sad to say that when the current school year ends, my brief career as a music teacher will end as well.
I will remain a fixture at the primary school in the future when I return to my original role as a substitute teacher. And you can bet that whenever I get the opportunity to sub in music, I will make the most of it.
On the bright side, returning to part-time work will free-up some time for me to resume my writing career. My goal for 2020 is to write a novel and to find a publisher who will buy it. Self-publishing is like masturbation: Sure, it feels good, but it can never be as satisfying as the real thing. Finding a publishing house to buy my book would be like having sex with someone else--for money! (Ok, maybe that's not the best analogy.)
The point is: writers gotta write, and that's what I plan on doing a lot more of in 2020 and beyond. As always, thanks for reading.
