I'm not unlike any other 35 year old family man. I help take care of my son, our pets, the house, etc. I work. I try to spend some quality time with my wife and child. I guess I'm just an Average Joe.
AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anybody who knows me knows that Travis Naughton is anything but your Average Joe. I'm the guy who wanted to list some extra-curriculars on my college applications, so in my senior year of high school I became editor of the school yearbook, president of the student body, and drum major of the marching band. Oh, and I also played baseball (until a falling out with the coach), was a member of the Honor Society, played trombone in the highest ranked jazz band in the state, and taught myself how to play the baritone horn well enought to earn a "1" rating at state competition. How do you top all that? Join the Marine Corps, of course. And I did. (We won't get into that story right now.)
I'm the guy who organized a college road trip to the New Madrid fault in S.E. Missouri when all the experts predicted the "Big Earthquake" back in '91. We wanted to be there when armeggedon arrived. (We were on Good Morning America and K-SHE 95 radio as well as several newspapers.) I drove all night to get there at the exact time they predicted the quake would begin. On the way there, we pulled off the road and got out of the car to dance when R.E.M.'s "Its the End of the World as We Know It" came on the radio.
I'm the guy who drove to Las Vegas with Bill Herrin the next summer in a 1984 Plymouth Horizon. Before we even left Columbia the linkage for the transmission fell apart and we literally stuck it back together with rubber bands and duct tape and decided to take the trip anyway. Oh yeah, and when we got in the car and started driving, we still weren't sure if we wanted to go to Canada or Mexico. We discovered a couple of Coors Light Beers in our cooler after visiting a friend in Arkansas. Appalled, we vowed to take them back to their source in Golden, Colorado. So we dropped two full cans off at the Visitors' bus stop at the brewery parking lot with a note attached that said, "To Whom it may concern: We were dismayed to have discovered these two beers in our cooler full of Anheuser-Busch products. A "friend" placed them in there as a joke. Well, we were not amused and we decided to return them to their place of origin. Please refrain from allowing your products to contaminate our cooler again in the future. Sincerely, Bill and Travis." I paraphrase. (To read about the entire trip, check out the link on this page "Bill and Trav's Excellent Adventure.")
So now, this Average Joe has taken the place of the former Me. I know that everyone laments the passing of their youth. I know I'm not special. But I am in a bit of a rut and I need to break out of it, even if only temporarily. So please feel free to make suggestions. If any of your ideas are crazy enough, I just may try one or two. You never know- I could end up on your doorstep at three in the morning in an '84 Plymouth with a full tank of gas and a roll of duct tape.
AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anybody who knows me knows that Travis Naughton is anything but your Average Joe. I'm the guy who wanted to list some extra-curriculars on my college applications, so in my senior year of high school I became editor of the school yearbook, president of the student body, and drum major of the marching band. Oh, and I also played baseball (until a falling out with the coach), was a member of the Honor Society, played trombone in the highest ranked jazz band in the state, and taught myself how to play the baritone horn well enought to earn a "1" rating at state competition. How do you top all that? Join the Marine Corps, of course. And I did. (We won't get into that story right now.)
I'm the guy who organized a college road trip to the New Madrid fault in S.E. Missouri when all the experts predicted the "Big Earthquake" back in '91. We wanted to be there when armeggedon arrived. (We were on Good Morning America and K-SHE 95 radio as well as several newspapers.) I drove all night to get there at the exact time they predicted the quake would begin. On the way there, we pulled off the road and got out of the car to dance when R.E.M.'s "Its the End of the World as We Know It" came on the radio.
I'm the guy who drove to Las Vegas with Bill Herrin the next summer in a 1984 Plymouth Horizon. Before we even left Columbia the linkage for the transmission fell apart and we literally stuck it back together with rubber bands and duct tape and decided to take the trip anyway. Oh yeah, and when we got in the car and started driving, we still weren't sure if we wanted to go to Canada or Mexico. We discovered a couple of Coors Light Beers in our cooler after visiting a friend in Arkansas. Appalled, we vowed to take them back to their source in Golden, Colorado. So we dropped two full cans off at the Visitors' bus stop at the brewery parking lot with a note attached that said, "To Whom it may concern: We were dismayed to have discovered these two beers in our cooler full of Anheuser-Busch products. A "friend" placed them in there as a joke. Well, we were not amused and we decided to return them to their place of origin. Please refrain from allowing your products to contaminate our cooler again in the future. Sincerely, Bill and Travis." I paraphrase. (To read about the entire trip, check out the link on this page "Bill and Trav's Excellent Adventure.")
So now, this Average Joe has taken the place of the former Me. I know that everyone laments the passing of their youth. I know I'm not special. But I am in a bit of a rut and I need to break out of it, even if only temporarily. So please feel free to make suggestions. If any of your ideas are crazy enough, I just may try one or two. You never know- I could end up on your doorstep at three in the morning in an '84 Plymouth with a full tank of gas and a roll of duct tape.
5 comments:
I can't believe the lack of responses to this latest post. I need ideas, people. I smell a road trip coming on. Maybe a 3 a.m. visit to your house...
First of all, you are NOT an average Joe, thus the spate of responses to the latest post. You're a crazy Joe and how could anyone possible suggest things for a crazy man to do. And, buying a bike and pedaling your ass all over town will cover needed new adventures without involving loved ones and close friends at 3:oo am.
The world weeps for you and your malaise. Besides a new job in management, raising a heathen, rustling up a heathen-ette from the other side of the planet, caretaking a domestic menagerie that ought to be registered as a zoo, planned family camping trips and not-so-family gambling trips, you also are into a robust hobby of leisure sports including trivia nights at local houses of questionable repute. How could you need anything else? But if you must road trip, might I suggest a trip eastward? Perhaps a demographically "average joe"/NASCAR dad could organize some fun protests at the Capitol. Pick some issues. Let them know what you think about both cars and people running entirely on alcohol, creative forms of corporal punishment in kindergartens, subsidizing natural pet food bakeries, exotic animal farming, support for music education, mental health services for the comfortably bored middle class, etc. At least you'll have a place to stay in between the grass-roots organizing.
Gee, Brother. With your warm and genuine tone, how could anyone resist your heartfelt invitation to visit you?
No soup for you!
Warm and genuine I am. Just sayin' that you are a restless soul that despite a good amount going on, will always look for more. If you have any alarming talents, it's the unsettling ability to be both disturbingly slothful sometimes AND exhaustingly restless most times (rarely anyting in-between). Just sayin' that when you get to be restless, hop on I-70 and go East until it ends. Just sayin'.
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