Truman's First Bus Ride

(Originally published in the 8-22-12 edition of the Boone County Journal)

Dear Bus Bullies,

Thank you for apologizing to my son Truman for the way you treated him on the school bus last week. Although your apology only came after school officials confronted you about your behavior, I will assume that you are genuinely remorseful following your insensitive actions. I would like to think that because you are so young yourselves, you did not know how hurtful your comments were to my young child. I am grateful to the staff at your school for addressing this situation immediately, and I am hopeful that you will never treat another person in this manner again.

I feel that it is very important to let you know a little more about the person you were being so mean to that day. Truman is five years old, and the day you teased him was only his second day of kindergarten. Having picked him up at school the previous day, Thursday afternoon was his first-ever ride on a school bus. He had been looking forward to that ride for a long time—ever since he first saw his big brother Alex step off that big yellow bus nearly four years ago. Imagine how upset I was when I greeted Truman at the bus stop and asked him how he liked his first bus ride and he said, “Some kids made fun of my hand.”

I am not naïve. I know that kids sometimes tease people who are different. I expected this situation to present itself at some point. I just didn’t expect it on Truman’s first-ever bus ride. It breaks my heart to know that what should have been a wonderful and fun memory will be forever tainted by your unfortunate choice to make my son feel bad about himself. From what I understand, you loudly proclaimed that Truman’s left hand was gross. You yelled, “Ew!” when you saw that he only has three fingers instead of five. I could excuse your reaction if you had immediately stopped drawing attention to Truman’s deformity and apologized, but witnesses claim that you continued to make a big deal about it even after several of your peers told you to cut it out. In other words, you knew what you were doing was wrong and that it could hurt Truman’s feelings, but you continued anyway. Shame on you.

You should know a few things about the little boy you bullied that day. Truman was born in China almost six years ago. A day or so later, he was found on a sidewalk in a big city after being abandoned by his biological parents. No one knows for sure why he was abandoned, but our best guess is because of his deformed left hand and foot. In some cultures, birth defects are considered a curse against a family and the innocent baby is often abandoned—or worse. Truman was lucky, because someone found him on the sidewalk and brought him to an orphanage before it was too late. My wife and I were lucky, too, because we were able to adopt him when he was two years old and bring him home to live with us here in Ashland.

Have you ever seen the movie “Finding Nemo”? It is about a young fish who was lucky enough to survive an attack by a barracuda that left him with a deformed fin which he and his dad called his “lucky fin.” Well, we call Truman’s left hand his “lucky hand” because it was likely what started the chain of events that brought us together. He is proud of his lucky hand and has never felt self-conscious about it for a single moment. It is just a part of who he is, and he is a wonderful human being. Truman is a lively, happy, funny, and positive kid. His spirit shines so brightly that he makes everyone around him feel glad just to know him. And yet, you tried to make him feel bad about his hand. You tried to make him feel bad about who he is. How would you feel if someone tried to make you feel that way?

I tend to believe the best about people, so I choose to believe that you are good kids who just made a bad choice. Learn from your mistakes and grow as people. And get to know my Truman. You’ll be glad you did.