Nonna’s Great Girl

My mother Donna, rest her soul, was a firm believer in the old English adage that children should be seen and not heard. To put it mildly, kids annoyed the hell out of her.

 

It would be slanderous to claim that my mom hated all children, however. In fact, she tolerated and/or loved three or fourchildren in her 61 years on this Earth, including my brother Blake, my sons Alex and Truman, and me of course.

Mom died of cancer before she could meet any of her three granddaughters, and I often wonder how she would have interacted with them. Would she have been as firm with them as she had been with her sons and her grandson Alex? (She died one month after we brought Truman home from China, depriving her of the pleasure of scolding yet another naughty Naughton boy.)

Bethany and I bought an ornate Chinese tea set for Mom before we adopted Truman, when we were still expecting to adopt a baby girl. We wanted to see Mom’s softer side emerge as she and her granddaughter enjoyed tea parties together. Unfortunately, it wasn’t until three years after Mom’s passing that we were finally able to bring home a daughter, our Tiana.

My brother and his wife eventually welcomed two more girls to the Naughton family, both of whom Nonna (Mom’s preferred grandparent title) would have absolutely adored. I’m certain that with the addition of the young Naughton girls, the number of children my mother loved/tolerated would have doubled.

By the time today’s newspaper has found its way into your mailbox, there will be another young Naughton girl in the world. As I write this, my son Alex and his girlfriend Sarah are making final preparations before going to the hospital where doctors will induce Sarah’s labor either Monday or Tuesday. As Alex was getting ready to leave the house a few minutes ago, I said the most surreal sentence of my life: “Son, the next time I see you, you will have a baby.”

 

Yes, I am going to be a grandparent!

I will not be Grandpa, Granddad, Grandfather, Grandpappy, or Gramps. I have chosen Pop as my title, although I will gladly answer to whatever name my granddaughter decides to call me. Bethany has requested to be referred to as Mimi, which is what Alex has called her since he was little. I dare you to call her Grandma or Grandmother. Or better yet; Granny. But before you do, please wait for me to make some popcorn first, because I don’t want to miss a minute of the show that will follow.

I can’t help but think of my mom as I get ready to meet her great-granddaughter. Mom was a strong, fiercely independent woman who put sexists and misogynists in their place daily. She defied gender norms by working in male-dominated fields, by coaching boys’ little league baseball teams, and by refusing to wear dresses. Mom ran a Chevrolet dealership, she loved watching football, and she was a United States Marine. She was a feminist who never used the word feminist, and she would have been a powerful role model for her granddaughters—and great-granddaughter—had she lived to meet them.

Through my memories and those of my brother Blake, Mom’s legacy will continue. Though she’s been gone for over eleven years, her influence in our family is as strong as ever. She can rest assured that her grandchildren are better people because of the example she set for her sons.

I do wish she could have met her granddaughters, though. She would have been so proud of all of them. And I think she would have been pretty proud of their parents, too.

  

Welcome to the world, baby girl Naughton! Nonna’s great-granddaughter is in the house, y’all, so take your seat, grab some popcorn, and watch what a girl can do.