In Loving Memory of Sweet D

 

When I was a fourth grader at Mark Twain Elementary School in Hannibal, Missouri, I had a major crush on a girl named Stacy. (Full disclosure: I also had a crush on Elizabeth and Lori and LeAnn and—well, you get the point.) Stacy was cute as a button and smart as a whip. She was strong and confident and, quite frankly, a bit intimidating to a shy kid like me. That’s why I never had the guts to tell her that I liked her.

Although my feelings for Stacy were very real, it just wasn’t meant to be. Stacy’s heart was reserved for a boy named David.

David was a good-looking lad who was every bit as intelligent as Stacy, but was the furthest thing from intimidating. He earned the nickname “Sweet D” by being one of the friendliest, kindest, and most affable people you could ever hope to meet. David loved to laugh, he loved his family and friends, and most of all—he loved Stacy. 

By the time they were in high school, everyone knew Dave and Stacy would end up getting married someday. It was obvious that they were soulmates, destined to grow old together. That is why it is so difficult to wrap my head around the fact that Stacy will have to spend the rest of her life without her beloved husband by her side.

David passed away last week, surrounded by his adoring family, after a brave and brutal battle with brain cancer. David’s younger brother Doug has been one of my best friends for the last 40 years, and despite his overwhelming grief he somehow managed to find the words to convey how much his brother meant to him and everyone who knew David:

“David was my best friend. If I’ve had any kind of success in life it was because he showed me how. He was the kind of guy that made everyone around him better. He was the quiet leader of our family. The most genuine, down to earth guy I’ve ever met. His laugh was infectious. He was always fair, always giving. He had a way of making everyone in the room feel important and heard. He was a tremendous father, husband, brother, and friend. I will miss him dearly.”

I can only hope that when my time comes, I will have lived well enough for one of my brothers to say such kind things about me.

As much as my heart hurts for Doug, it is absolutely shattered for Stacy. Just one week before her husband’s passing, Stacy’s mother died unexpectedly. Let that sink in for a second. For most of us, there are two people who love us more than anyone else in the world: our mother and our spouse. Stacy lost both of those people in one week.

In the first paragraph of this piece, I described fourth grade Stacy as strong. I can see now that the word strong is completely inadequate. Thirteen years ago, I lost my mother to cancer that had spread to her brain. I simply cannot fathom how I would have survived that time without my wife by my side. The thought of losing my mom and Bethany within a week of one another is simply beyond my comprehension. The strength Stacy possesses is beyond my comprehension, too. 

Stacy, if you are reading this, please know that you and your boys are in the thoughts and prayers of many, many people who care about you. You are loved. And I’ve got a great big hug waiting for you the next time we see each other. 

The same goes for you, Doug. I’ve known you longer than any person outside of my family, and I’m pretty sure that qualifies us as brothers. Although I’ll never come close to being the brother that David was and always will be, I promise I’ll do my best. I love you, bro.

Everyone else, call your mother. Now. Tell her you love her. Same with your siblings. Take your spouse in your arms and tell him or her how much they mean to you and how glad you are to have them in your life. Do it right away. Then raise a glass to Sweet D and thank the Universe for giving us people like him that make life so much sweeter.