On August 4, 1996, Bethany and I recited our wedding vows to one another in front of two witnesses, (Bethany’s twin sister Charla and her husband Doug), and a preacher who forgot my name. “Do you, Michael, promise to take this woman in the bonds of holy…?”
“My name’s Travis,” I sheepishly whispered to the minister.
“Travis, Michael—whatever,” he said as he continued with the service, as if it truly did not matter at all what my name was. I felt like it actually might matter, because if “Michael” married Bethany, then she may be able to get out of this whole thing on a technicality.
Nevertheless, after 25 years of marriage, I’m reasonably confident that the statute of limitations has expired by now. I’m afraid that poor woman is stuck with me for better or worse, as long as we both shall live.
I will celebrate my 50th birthday next month, and it doesn’t seem possible that I have been married to the same amazing woman for half of my life. Yet here we are, a quarter-century after that private and legally-ambiguous ceremony took place, still going strong.
All the credit for our lasting marriage goes to my wife of course. It isn’t all sunshine and rainbows being married to Travis Naughton. I’ve battled my share of demons over the years, including bouts with addiction and mental illness. Can you think of a more volatile combination than an alcoholic, bipolar, Irish, short guy? Can you imagine being married to that for 25 years?!
I gave Bethany an opportunity to run for her life early in our relationship. When we first started dating, I had just turned 21, and I was in no way interested in pursuing a serious relationship—not with all that booze out there waiting to be consumed. So, I gave Bethany the brush off, or in today’s lingo, I guess you could say that I ghosted her.
A couple years later, after having some time (alone and miserable) to think about my life, I tracked down Bethany’s number through some mutual friends and gave her a call. Inexplicably, she agreed to give me another chance, and I’m sure she’s been questioning her judgement ever since.
These 25 years have been full of love—and kids. We’ve welcomed seven young souls into our hearts and home over the years via childbirth, adoption, fostering, and the arrival of our first grandbaby. There’s never a dull moment at our house. Our evening dinners could be a reality TV show. It’s crazy around here, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Since we’ve been married, Bethany and I have each lost a parent (within a week of each other). We also both said goodbye to our last remaining grandparents, Bethany’s Grandma Viola and my Grandma Sweetie Pie. I’m so glad we had each other to lean on during those tough times.
In better times, we’ve travelled all over the world from Beijing to Cabo and from Disney World to Yellowstone and all sorts of places in between. Our most recent trip will be taking place as you are reading this. To celebrate our 25th anniversary and Char & Doug’s 25th (six months late), the four of us will be hiking through the wilds of Alaska, exploring the Kenai Fjords and Denali National Parks and checking out cities including Anchorage, Seward, and Fairbanks. It’s a bucket list destination for me, and I’ll try to do it justice in a future column.
Bethany is my travel companion, my soulmate, my best friend, and my partner in life. She is a remarkable human being. She’s strong, yet vulnerable. She’s smart, yet humble. She is kind, yet fierce. She’s a wonderful mother, a doting Mimi (don’t call her grandma), and a devoted daughter, sister, and aunt. She’s the best person I know.
I’d like to take this opportunity to say thank you to my beautiful bride for putting up with me for the last 25 years. I’m not sure what you see in me, Dear, but I am grateful that you continue to see it after all this time.
I love you more than I can possibly express in a 700-word newspaper column. My love for you grows with each passing year, and I wouldn’t trade any of the last 25 years for anything else in the world.
Happy anniversary, Mrs. Naughton.
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