...Wisdom teeth, that is. In a year in which I have had every square inch of my body checked out from my prostate to my heart to my eyes, it appears that a long overdue visit to the dentist may be in order. One of my wisdom teeth has decided to make an appearance after 35 years of stage fright. The problem is that the curtain to its stage is only half-way open, allowing part of the shy tooth to remain hidden from view. In other words, the gum that has sheltered the reclusive tooth all of these years is not cooperating.
The pain I have been in for the past week or so has been about as unpleasant as you might expect. Thank goodness for Advil, Tylenol, and the like. Pain relievers are but a temporary solution however and I am making mental plans to visit a dentist soon. It will take some mental preparation because it has been 15 years since I last sat in the Chair of Despair. On that occasion, I had a tooth pulled by a dentist who never even bothered to introduce himself. To this day I have no idea what his name was. After his assistant did all the x-rays and such, he simply strolled in and started yanking on my tooth. After struggling for a few minutes, he uttered an "Oops!" followed by a "Where'd it go?" I felt the extracted bicuspid trying to seek refuge in the back of my throat and promptly coughed it up for the befuddled doctor. He laughed a relieved laugh and said "There it is." Then he left the room, never to be seen again.
For almost a full year afterward, I had a hole in my gum that specialized in trapping partially masticated foods. I also had a collections agent harass me after my mommy's insurance company refused to pay the bill (without bothering to inform anyone.) So I had sworn off dentists- until now. Diligent brushing, over the counter tooth whitening, and occasional flossing can only go so far. Only Tom Hanks' character in Castaway is capable of removing a problem wisdom tooth without the aid of a dentist and a morphine drip. (I sure as Hell won't be using the blade of an ice skate like he did.) It seems that I will have to "man-up" and make an appointment with a professional soon.
How ironic that only two months ago, Bethany asked if I wanted to be added to her dental insurance. After a decade and a half of self reliance and dental independence, I said "No."
Socrates was once called "the wisest man in the world" by one of his followers. He replied that true wisdom comes from one's ability to admit that he doesn't know anything. I'm feeling pretty wise lately. I guess that's why they're called "wisdom teeth."
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