Closure

Well, I am back at home after a weekend in California with my brother Blake. Our mom was originally from northern Cali, so we decided to scatter her ashes there after she passed away. The location was chosen by Blake who recalled Mom talking about going to the Santa Cruz boardwalk where her grandmother took her when she was very young. We chartered a 34' yacht to sail us off shore to a beautiful spot a few hundred yards off the coast. The captain and his first mate were very professional and surprisingly thoughtful as they guided us through the process. They even circled the boat to calm the waters just before Blake released the ashes. They gave us as long as we needed to sit and reflect and be in the moment. It was one of the most beautiful and intensely painful moments of my life. I know Blake felt the same way. After a while, the captain rang "eight bells," in the nautical tradition, to signify the changing of the watch, in a sense dismissing Mom from her duties and handing over the business of carrying on to my brother and I. We let the wind guide us back to shore as we watched dolphins, seals, and sea lions swim by as if to say, "Life does go on." It was a perfect way to say goodbye to our Mom.

Back on shore, Blake and I rode the rickety, 80-year-old wooden roller coaster that Mom rode with her grandma so many years ago. It felt so good to laugh out loud again and to think about Mom doing the same in that very place. Finally, we went to the area of land closest to where we scattered Mom's remains and took a moment to breath in the fresh air and listen to the waves crashing on the rocks below. (See video.) That's when I finally felt at peace. I knew that somewhere Mom was watching and giving us a big thumbs-up while saying, as she often told me in life, "Ya done good."


I love you Mom.