The happiest, saddest day of my life.

Where to begin to describing the emotions of January 20? Of course I was moved to tears by the inauguration of Barack Obama. I was inspired by Yo-Yo Ma's performance for the new President. Ma is a Chinese-American came to this country as a child, just as my son did, who along with our first African-American president proved that in America anyone can grow up to be anything they want. I was saddened that my mom could not witness this joyous day. As sick as she was toward the end, she still insisted on going out to vote for her candidate. (Special thanks to Bethany's mom Glee for giving Mom a ride to the polls.) I was thrilled for Blake and Meredith because they were going to the inauguration. I was saddened later to find out they were turned away at the gate with VIP tickets in hand after waiting in line underground with up to 50,000 other extremely disappointed Obama supporters for four hours. I was happy for them again later, when they eventually got to see the First Couple in person at an inaugural ball.

But the exhilaration of the historic day was tempered with the sobering task I faced after watching the inauguration. I needed to clear out the remaining items from my mother's duplex. (Special thanks to Glee and Bethany's niece Jessica for helping us clean the place two days ago.) Upon loading the last item into the van, I buckled the kids into their car seats and went back inside the house for one last look. Then it hit me, as it had my brother just before he returned to his home in Baltimore two weeks ago: This was the last time that I would ever be in my mother's home. Never again will I be able to go to Mom's for a visit. Never again will I be able to drop off the boys to spend some time with "Nonna." Mom's house was always a place where the family could convene no matter where any of us lived. Even with Blake and Meredith living on the east or west coast, we could always count on meeting at Mom's house for Christmas or other occasions throughout the year. The loss of my mom and the loss of that comforting place called her home cannot be replaced. The emptyness of that house left me feeling an emptyness in my soul that hopefully time and the love of my friends and family will fill in.

January 20, 2009 was the happiest, saddest day of my life. But, Janurary 21st is a brand new day...