As you may already be aware, I ain't quite right in the head. Is it normal to argue for hours on end with the voices in your head? What is "normal" anyway? Every day I come up with a different idea for what I am going to do with my life once Alex goes to school next year. I thought I could sell cars, or anything else for that matter. I've been told I have a knack for B.S. (That is the #1 key to being a good salesman.) But then I talked myself out of that idea because salespeople are so fake. I want to be able to respect myself in the morning, you know? I thought about going back to college to get a degree in a practical field where I might stand a chance to become gainfully employed. But I talked myself out of that because I just finished paying off my student loans for the seven years that it took to get a philosophy degree. I thought I would like to own a bar. It would need to be unique so it would stand out among the other three or four thousand bars that already exist in Columbia. I thought a place that just sold beer (lots and lots of beers) would be cool. Then I thought that people who don't like beer wouldn't come and I would go out of business. Then I argued to myself that I really wanted to do a beer-only bar because I'm too lazy to learn how to mix all those fru-fru drinks that the college kids are so fond of these days.
So you can see that for every idea I come up with, I find a reason to shoot it down. I am my own worst enemy. Maybe I should quit thinking so much. I think maybe I need a hobby. Lately I have been learning how to play guitar. I thought maybe I could practice for a few months and eventually get a part-time job at a music store where I could get some free lessons and get paid to practice between waiting on customers. Then I tell myself that I'll never remember all those chords and scales and won't be good enough to get in a band. See, there I go again arguing with myself. It ain't easy being me. I invite all of your comments and suggestions to help me choose a career path and quiet the voices in my head before they drive me completely crazy. Just don't be insulted if one of those voices shoots down your idea.
9 comments:
That is a great idea! I think I will start by answering the questions Ann Landers receives. I will replace her lame answers with my unique brand of lunacy. This will be the next step in my plan for world domination! Of course this would be yet another case of me stealing one of Paul's ideas on his blog, but who cares. Besides, Bill Herrin says that at this stage in civilization there is no such thing as a purely original thought anyway. Every thought is a derivative of a previous one. (OK, Bill didn't use all those big words, but you get the idea.)
ouch, yo mama didn't know she was fake and unable to face herself due to being a car salesman all those years......
What?? no more original thoughts??? Damn, I wished I knowed that before I killed Milli and Vanilli.
Dear Mama,
You were the exception to the rule in the car business. However, if it weren't as bad as I described it, you would still be doing it!
Dear Fungi,
I can't imagine that they would pay me to catch tame fish. But I may ask 'em!
Dear Seamhead,
I already killed Milli Vanilli.
Well, I destroyed their tape that I owned at least. (It was a gift. I never paid money for it! I swear to all that is holy!!)
come on, you bought that with good ole' American Cash. You can admit it. Shit, I used to have a Barry Manilow tape. I traded it for a Madonna tape. At least I never bought a Richard Marx album like my sister did.
Seamhead, the first concert I ever went to with a girl was Richard Marx. I'm not proud of it, but it did score me some make-out points!
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