Bethany, Alex, our niece Jessica, and myself planned on setting out on our adventure at about 4:00pm on Friday the 14th. We left Columbia at 6:00. Imagine that- the Naughtons running late. Alex wrote in his journal about our trip and I hope to post scanned images from it on this blog soon. I took over the driving from Bethany when the sun went down because she has a hard time seeing in the dark. (This is an important fact to keep in mind when I describe our return trip home later on.)
Somewhere in the middle of Georgia or maybe Tennessee, I began to go insane. Not just a little goofy. Completely mad. For a while I could have sworn that the Care Bears were dancing on the hood of the van obstructing my view of the road. Just north of Atlanta I had a conversation with a moonshiner about his experiences at Disney World.
"You ever been to Disney?" I asked the old hillbilly.
"Yeah, my family took me when I was a boy."
"How was it?"
"It was real good till I realized that they left me."
"Who left you?"
"My momma and daddy. I yelled outloud, 'Why you done gone and left me momma!? What I ever done to you!? Don't you love me no more!?' Course by then it was pretty obvious what the answer to that question was."
"That's awful. I can't believe they did that to you."
"Well, I suppose I had it comin'. I was a pretty ornery child."
"Still, you didn't deserve to be abandoned by your family."
"Still? Still!? Where's a still? That reminds me, I got a batch of hooch cookin' right now. I better run."
"Good talkin' to ya!" I yelled to the old-timer.
"You, too young fella," the man replied.
Then I realized that I was driving a mini-van at 75 mph on a dark highway in the middle of Georgia. Apparently there was never on old whiskey-runner talking to me about his childhood experiences in Orlando. When I made this realization, I pulled over and made Bethany drive the rest of the way to the resort. The sun began to rise, the birds began to sing, and I began to recount my conversation with my alter-ego to Bethany and Jessica. They found it very amusing and were as relieved as I was that I was no longer hallucinating behind the wheel.
Next installment: Day 2.
Hey, is that a Care Bear over there?
5 comments:
I think I would also have to resort to drugs if I was in the car with Bethany and Jessie for 18 hours. This must have been the source of the hallucinations.
Hey! Who is this blade runner? That's my daughter and granddaughter he is maligning. I have spent a lot of time with them both, and I never resort to drugs. Oh, a few beers now and then. I also never hallucinate. Well, sometimes I see double, but that can be explained.
Which Care Bear was it? Was it Luck Bear (that may have been a good omen), Grumpy Bear maybe, or maybe Doc. Wait Doc is a dwarf- are you sure they weren't dwarves? Mayhap they were hairy gnomes? Gnomes are cool!! I like how they just sit in your garden ready to kick some rabbit butt. Man I love gnomes. You are so luck to be driving with gnomes. They hate when you put in a car booster seat though. If they were in car booster seats they definatly were not gnomes. Man I can't wait for more gnome stories.
Gnomes, hallucinogenic drugs, and angry matriarchs- oh my! Stay tuned for more...
Blade Runner = Son-in-law (Hannibal)
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