R.I.P. Jake

Hours ago, one of the best friends I have ever had in my life died in my arms. He was my dog Jake. After watching him suffer from heart failure and dementia in addition to the usual problems associated with old age (he was 14 years old), we were simply waiting for Jake to tell us when he was ready to go. This afternoon he did just that. When Alex and I got home from school, Jake didn't get out of his bed to greet us. Even when I pleaded with him to get up, he just lay in his bed, which he had soiled sometime during the day. Eventually he staggered to his feet but seemed oblivious to our presence. I picked him up and set him on my lap while Alex and I talked about what we needed to do. When Bethany came home, everyone told Jake goodbye and I took him to our vet. The details of Jake's final moments are mine alone to know.

When I got back home I gave my family big hugs and kisses and then ventured out into our woods- shovel in hand. I picked out a nice clearing in the trees and began to dig. While I labored away, I recalled many memories of my little buddy. We adopted Jake at the Muncie Indiana animal shelter in February 1998. Bethany had just taken her first 13 week assignment as a "travelling"occupational therapist- her first job out of college. She worked at a very poorly run nursing home that literally drained the spirit from her. She came home crying regularly and I felt powerless to help. As Valentine's Day appoached, I had the idea to get a puppy to help keep Bethany's mind off her troubles at work and give her something positive to focus on in her life. When I arrived at the shelter all of the male dogs were in one pen, all the females in another. A precoius female beagle caught my eye, but I thought I should look at the males too, just in case. A throng of dogs greeted me at the fence- barking, jumping up, trying to lick my fingers. I peered through the crowd and spotted a very sad looking dog in the far corner of the pen standing all alone with his head down. I called to him and he started to take a step toward me, only to be turned back by the larger, more aggressive dogs. He managed to make eye contact though, and in that instant he asked me in his own pathetic way to get him the hell outta there. I knew right then that I had found my dog. I went inside and asked about him and the sole employee told me I would have to wait another day before I could take him because they wanted to give his owner a chance to claim him (he was found as a run-away.) Well, because I was there on a Friday, the "one more day" was a Saturday and then they would be closed on Sunday. So I agonized all weekend knowing that my dog was absolutely miserable waiting for me to save him. I came back Monday morning at opening time. The lady at the shelter apologized for making me wait an extra day to adopt him. She felt so guilty that she actually waived the adoption fee. Before I knew it, my new dog was at the end of a leash, walking straight into my heart. It would take Bethany a little while longer to warm up to Jake, but not too long. Afterall, he was a handsome little devil. But at the initial vet visit, our free dog became a $300 dog thanks to a bad case of heartworms. His liver suffered some damage as a result and so the vet joked that this Joliet Jake Blues (as his full name was) should refrain from drinking any beer. "Bummer," I thought. Soon enough, Jake was feeling healthy and happy and we became fast friends while spending our days together waiting for Bethany to come home from work each evening.

Our friendship lasted 10 great years. But Jake was more than a friend, he was like a child to Bethany and I. Having a dog really is good practice for prospective parents. We had Jake in our lives for nearly three years before Alex was born, so he really was our baby. And we made lots of good memories together. The best part is that he lived seven more years after Alex was born, allowing Alex to bond with him, too. Being an only child, Alex has always referred to Jake as his big brother. In fact, Alex used to lick his own "paws" while Jake sat beside him and cleaned his. On several occasions, I caught the human child eating the canine child's Milkbones. Once, I even caught Alex eating kibble right out of Jake's bowl. Brothers they were.

I have many, many Jake stories. Maybe I'll write about some more of them when I feel up to it. For now, I can't type anymore- much less talk about Jake without completely falling apart. If you read this and want to call to express your condolences, please wait a few days or just post a message on this blog. It is amazing to me how much I miss my friend already. The pain in my lower back and in my hands from digging Jake's grave don't come close to the pain I feel in my heart right now. How is it possible to love a dog so much?

I will love you and miss you and remember you forever, old pal. Good-bye, Jakey-Boy.