Confidence

Years ago, in an ad campaign for aftershave (I think), Jack Palance used to say, "Confidence is sexy- don't you think?" I say, "Yes", Jack. My loyal followers know from reading over 350 blogger, myspace, and facebook posts that I do not lack confidence. I am unapologetically myself- and I like that. With that in mind, I have two things to share with you.

On Saturday, while my family was in Hannibal and I was left at home alone to care for our small zoo of pets, I decided to mow the yard. It was hot that day and when I completed the task I went inside and disrobed in anticipation of a soothing shower. As I walked through the house, I noticed that there was a lot of dog hair on the floor, so I decided to vacuum. Before I knew it I also mopped the kitchen and living room. Then I made beds and straightened up the rest of the house. In no time at all, my to-do list was done. And yes, I did all of my housework completely in the buff. Go ahead, let that image burn a hole through your mind's eye. (Not you, Mom.) I knew that if any supermodels showed up to borrow a cup of sugar they would not have looked away. I know that I am a smokin' hottie. That's confidence.

I've been mulling over another diversion that requires confidence as well. Poker. Everybody knows that I'll do most anything to avoid having to work for a living. That got me to thinking of ways to make money without having a job. The only thing I could think of that would be plausible would be to become a professional poker player. It is plausible. Thousands of other people with unused college degrees have already answered the calling, so why couldn't I? What do they have that I don't? Experience? I've played a few rounds of cards in my life. I've lost a lot of those times, but I've won a few, too. Know-how? I study the poker pros on TV. I learn from playing with "the guys". I have started reading books on the subject. (Currently reading "Super/System 2" by Doyle Brunson.) Proximity to a casino? St. Louis and K.C. have plenty of poker rooms within a two-hour drive. Someone to help get me started? My good friend Jerry is becoming quite familiar with the poker rooms in St. Louis, Mississippi, and Vegas. He'll be a good resource for getting me into the swing of things. Bankroll? Three words: economic stimulus check. Confidence? Please. I think I've got that one covered. Do you know anybody else who would have the stones to stage an assassination attempt while delivering an address to the student body as the Student Council president in high school? For those of you who don't know, I had the "shooter" fire a cap gun painted black and had my "bodyguards" (who were wearing dark suits and sunglasses) leap from the stage to drag him out of the auditorium while two other guards whisked me offstage. That kind of stunt would fall under the "zero-tolerance" rules today and would have ended my participation in public schools. (Oh, you should have heard the screams!) Brash. Bold. Confident. So do I think I have what it takes to make it as a poker player? I wouldn't bet against it.

I think it's time to do some more housework...