Another Year Older, And Better Looking

Some things do get better with age. Take me for example. In grade school I wore Garanimals and had a wicked 1970's hair cut. In junior high I wore parachute pants and a "Where's the Beef?" t-shirt. In high school I wore turtlenecks that made my "bitchin' mullet" look even more ridiculous than it already was. I later had a braided pony tail that made me look almost as cool as Jordan from New Kids on the Block. But now, look at me. I look good. Women want to be with me and men want to be me. College girls shamelessly throw themselves at me. My wife can barely make it through a day at work without getting fired because she daydreams incessantly about me. How lucky must she feel to be married to a handsome stud like me who keeps her feeling young in her old age!