Monday, December 05, 2005

Dear Santa,



First of all, thank you for the three Victoria's Secret Catalogs you have already sent me this holiday season. They have really helped to get me in the Christmas spirit. Thank you in advance for the Victoria's Secret T.V. special set to air tomorrow night on CBS. I almost feel greedy asking you for anything else for Christmas, but what the Hell! I would like a 1996 Chevrolet Caprice Classic stationwagon with the optional 5.7 liter LT1 Corvette engine. I am a family guy, so it would be good to have a nice family car. That particular car has a fold down third row of seating and gets over 20 miles per gallon- so its quite practical. Of course it would be nice if it had some personalized touches. Tinted windows, low-profile tires on some bling-bling rims, a kickin' stereo, grumbly dual exhaust, a bitchin' paint job and fuzzy dice would be cool. Also, I would like world peace.

Thanks,
Travis Naughton

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

I wonder whatever became of the Travis Naughton from Hannibal, Missouri who swore he'd rather walk than ride in a station wagon?

TheNotQuiteRightReverend said...

The Travis Naughton from Hannibal, Missouri uttered those words in the 1980's when cars and wagons were at their all-time ugliest. Surely a car-person like yourself could appreciate that no wagon built in that God-forsaken decade had even the slightest amount of style. (No offense to Glee, who drove two such beasts.)

Anonymous said...

No offense taken. I didn't care about looks. I just loved the fact that I could carry so much "stuff" back and forth to school and we always had room for any and all of the girls' friends who needed transportation. After someone christened it the "party barge" even the girls did not mind driving it.

Anonymous said...

sorry, blogdaddy, but tricked out or not, a station wagon is a station wagon is a station wagon. The somewhat newer ones may be a little more slicked back looking, but OMG, they are still station wagons......and ugly first cousins of the dreaded mini van, of which I also would not own one. Drive a truck if you want space for stuff, including a gas guzzling SUV, just not a station wagon. AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGG

TheNotQuiteRightReverend said...

Jagua- You just need someone to "Pimp Your Ride". Unless your car is a Chevy Celebrity Wagon, it must be a Caprice. I believe it to be the same body style as the one pictured. If so, its got potential.

Glee- If your old Chevy Wagon was good enough for my wife, then its good enough for me.

Mama- No minivan has ever been produced with a Corvette motor and the radical good looks of the Caprice Classic. Soccer moms will recoil in fear at the sight of a hot rod wagon. Don't forget that your beloved PT Cruiser is nothing but a small wagon itself.

Anonymous said...

jagua, baby, PT Cruiser's are not gangster mobiles, they're surfer dude rides....puhleeeseeee, with suicide doors they could be more ganster like, but chrysler weenied out on that... No offense intended to your fine chevy SW, it can't help that it sucks.....and blog daddy - everyone recoils at the sight of a SW....

TheNotQuiteRightReverend said...

Isn't it truly beautiful that a healthy discourse about the virtues of station wagons can bring people together in this otherwise hostile world?