My good friend Doug Hurt threw down the gauntlet. He challenged a co-worker to a contest to see who could eat the most hard boiled eggs in one hour. There are no winners in a situation like that. He emailed me a link to a video of the contest which my stone age computer won't show me. His previous message simply read, "Let me just say some bad decisions were made, some people suffered, and I will never eat a hardboiled egg again in my life."
This caused me to ponder the occasions when I felt the urge to challenge my gastro-intestinal fortitude. There was the time that I previously blogged about when I ate 10 Taco Hell tacos which lead me to the discovery that the ratio of tacos ingested to visits to the toilet is 3.3 to 1. Then there was the time in college when Eric Durr and I ordered three medium Little Caesar's Pizzas. Eric possibly saved my life when he took the remaining slices of the third pizza away from me before I could do any more damage to my colon. I had eaten two whole pizzas myself and was reaching for more when he intervened. Somehow he had only managed to eat four slices in the time it took me to eat 16. Does anyone remember the 29 cent cheeseburger special at Mc Donalds? I consumed eight of them with fries and a Coke before my friends "talked me down" from the suicidal perch I was leaning over.
Tell me your stories people. Surely everyone has had moments of glory/stupidity like these. Factoring in body weight with gross volume of food consumed, we may be able to determine the First Annual Travis Naughton Experience Power-Eating Champion of the World. The winner will receive a delicious can of Spam in the variety of their choosing. Good luck.
3 comments:
My roomie and I once had a Jalapeno eating contest at Royals stadium. All was fine and good until the next morning. When the next morning came we realized you shouldn't have a Jalapeno eating contest if your ratio of bathrooms to contestants is less than 1:1. We only had 1 bathroom for 2 idiotic Jalapeno eaters. When morning comes each contestant needs his own stool.
Speaking of jalapenos, a buddy of mine excused himself to go to the restroom at the Old Heidelburg after eating a massive plate of jalapeno laden nachos. When he came back he was in tears and red faced. When we asked him what was wrong, he uttered three words, "Jalapenos and hemmoroids."
Your sister-in-law ate 10 slices of pizza...same one who used to eat two foot long subs at Subway!
Why did it go to her hollow legs and not some other place on her body??? Sorry dear, Love You and Bethy!
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