Tailgating Truck # 4?

I've thrown enough money at my present Tiger Truck. After investing nearly $3000 over the year and a half I've owned it, the transmission is going out, the rebuilt brakes are failing, it won't stay in park, and only 4 of the 6 tires hold air. I have decided that artificially prolonging the life of this once proud truck is no longer in anyone's best interests. I hope to sell the truck for someone's project in order to acquire some seed money for a new tailgatin' truck project. But first, a brief history of my former trucks.

I have owned three tailgaters so far and I have fond memories of each. The first was a red and white 1978 Chevy 4x4 that pulled a trailor with a Chevy Corsica on it from here to Muncie, Indiana after Bethany and I graduated. After pulling two tons for over 1000 miles, I checked the truck out. No oil registered on the dipstick. No coolant was visible in the radiator. A bird's nest completely blocked the air intake hose. This glorious machine pulled a car cross-country with no oil, water, or air. Wow. And it made the move back to Missouri and served admirably at a few tailgate parties before I foolishly traded it away for a Pontiac Sunturd convertable. I miss that truck.

The next beauty was a former hog-haulling 1966 Chevy 1-ton dually. When Bethany first saw it she said, "Well, as long as you like it..." It had a flat bed complete with a set of steel stock panels that weighed well over 1000 pounds. Grant accompanied me when I bought it and he rightfully questioned my choice. It was only when I painted the beast black and gold (and with Grant's help removed the stock panels) that he realized the true tailgating potential the old sow had in her. Many of you remember the numerous tailgate parties that were hosted by that antique beauty. After a guy did some work on my '57 Chevy Bel Air, I traded the truck to him in exchange for his services. As I delivered it to the drop point, the engine blew, and oil rained down from under the hood. I am sure she was mad that I was parting ways with her. I miss that truck.

The third tailgater is a 1976 Chevy 1- ton dually. The truck was red when I bought it at an auction during my unsuccessful stint as a used car dealer. The initial $1300 was a fair price. Too bad I spent another $1300 fixing the brakes (which later failed), electrical, suspension, etc. But my flat-black paint job gave it an air of toughness that parallelled that of the Football Tigers in their home uniforms. I limped the slipping tranny through most of the past football season, only to be sidelined by two flat tires on the morning of the last game. It has sat in my driveway ever since. It makes me sad. I won't miss that truck.

Facing the prospect of not having a tailgatin' truck for the coming football season, I inquired today about a mid 1960's Chevy that was for sale a while ago. It didn't sell and the owner has continued to drive it regularly. I left him a note expressing my interest in his vehicle. The truck is very original, has four wheel drive, a step side bed, and is begging for a black and gold paint job and an opportunity to prove itself as the next and hopefully best tailgating truck of them all. I hope that selling "Old '76" will help fund the purchase of this new prospect and ensure that the Naughtons and their damned old trucks will continue to host tailgating parties at Ol' Mizzou for years to come.

Wish me luck.

Send money.

And black spray paint.