"I need new friends."

This post is dedicated to all of my friends. I'm not going to beat around the bush here. You people suck. All of you. You wanna know why? Because you've changed. You've grown up. You have jobs, wives, kids, mortgages, etc. You're mature. And you don't live near me anymore. You never come hang out on the "party porch" that I built for your enjoyment. (So much for "If you build it, they will come.") You've moved on with your lives. In short- you suck.

Oh I can hear you know, "But Blog Daddy, you have a wife, a kid, and a mortgage, too. And not all of us have a wife who works two jobs and would let us quit our jobs and build a ridiculously cool party porch for our drinking buddies to hang out on. We're not the ones who bought a house in the country that's an hour-long round trip from anywhere, although it is a lovely place. We have obligations. We live in the real world. You live in a fantasy world. You've got it made. What a life you have! You don't have the right to complain. Would you like some cheese with that whine? Grow-up, Naughton. Yeah, you don't get to spend as much time with your buddies as you'd like, but who does? We'll get together when we can. Until then, keep a beer in the fridge for us and enjoy what you do have. You have a smokin' hot wife, a great kid, ten acres of Heaven, a bitchin' tailgatin' truck, a fishin' boat, and friends who care about you even if you rarely get to spend time with them. You're livin' the dream, man."

You'd be right, of course. However, from time to time it does get a little lonely out here in the sticks. So please try to come visit whenever you can. You've got a standing invitation. Consider taking a "staycation" here at the Hartsburg Hotel. We'll leave the light on for you.