Parental Progress Report

How can a parent judge how well they are raising their child? Take him to a playground and see how he interacts with other kids. This test is especially helpful for those of us who don't get out much. Today, Alex was at Twin Lakes City Park when 4 kids showed up. The bigger kids left their little brother behind on the playground while they fed the geese. Alex stayed with the little one and kept him entertained. When the little boy couldn't crawl on top of a piece of equipment Alex explained how to do it and when that didn't work he actually picked him up. I was proud of how thoughtful he was. When the other kids came back they all started playing and talking. The following is a partial transcript of their conversation.

Little Girl: How old are you?

Alex: I'm five.

Girl: Well I'm 6 and he's 7, so we're older than you.

Alex: Yeah because 6 is more than 5. And 7 is more than 6.

Girl: Well, you're not as old as we are.

(They play for a while and then Alex tries to show the kids a dinosaur fossil on the plastic rock wall.)

Alex: Hey guys come here. I want to show you something.

Older boy: We know. Its a dinosaur bone.

Alex: Do you know how the dinosaurs died?

Girl: No, do you?

Alex: A big meteor crashed to the earth and made lots of dirt go up in the air and all the plants died and then
the dinosaurs died.

Girl: Oh.

The Kids' Mom: How did you know that, Alex?

Alex: I learned it in my history book.

Mom: Wow, that's really good. What kind of dinosaur is that fossil from?

Alex: I think its a brontosaurus.

Mom: Is that written beside it?

Alex: No, I could just tell that's what it is.

Girl: Well if you're so smart, what do cheetahs eat?

Alex: They eat other cheetahs.

Girl: No they don't.

Older boy: Well they might, but not usually.

Girl: What eats lions?

Alex: Cheetahs.

Girl: No they don't.

Older boy: They could eat them if they're already dead.

Girl: Vultures eat dead lions. You're not smart.

Alex: Hyenas eat dead lions. You're not smart.

Girl: No they don't. See, you're not smart.

Alex: I am so smart I'm smarter than my dad even.

Oldest boy: You're not smart. I'm smart.

Alex: You're not smart, I'm smart.

Girl: You can't be smart if you think cheetahs eat lions.

At that point I finally interjected, "How do you know cheetahs don't eat lions? Have you ever been around cheetahs and lions?"

Girl: No.

Alex: See, you're not smart.

Me: You're all smart, you just know different things. Alex, its time to go.

Older boy: I'm smarter than you.

Alex: I'm smarter than you.

Me: Let's go son.

As we walked to the car, I whispered to my son: If you are going to argue with someone about who is the smartest, you should know what you're talking about. Cheetahs probably don't eat lions. They eat gazells and smaller prey. You shouldn't be arguing about who's smartest anyway.

We turned to see the kids approaching so we walked toward them. The boys were trying to say that they were sorry, but their apologies were drowned out by the little girl going on and on about something. I have no idea what she was saying and Alex had his hands over his ears to shut her out. I told him to ignore her and listen to the boys. He did, and then he said sorry too. Then we left. On the way to the car I said: That was nice of them to say sorry.

Alex: Man, I get tired of hearing her babbling on and on...blah, blah, blabitty, blah-blah!

Me: Get in the car, son.