A Farewell to Hemingway...

Because it was written back in 1929, giving you ample time to read it yourself, I believe I can reveal the ending to Earnest Hemingway's "A Farewell to Arms". The lead character's wife dies after giving birth to their stillborn son. I spent the past week reading this "classic" novel inbetween Holiday get-togethers and other happy occasions only to have it end in a completely depressing manner. There were no happy endings, silver linings, or any other feel-good epilogues. 330 pages of World War I, a love story, and then everybody dies: The End. Well let me tell you, if the world is so in love with Hemingway after all these years, wait'll they get a load of me! You want romance?- I'll give you romance. You want conflict?- my cup is overflowing with conflict. Tragedy?- I got loads of tragedy. But I will do something Papa didn't: I will incorporate all of those elements into my novel, AND find a way to throw the reader a lifeline of hope so that he doesn't want to slash his wrists after reading it. Do I think I am a better writer than Hemingway? No comment. Do I think that the novel I am writing has the potential to be very, very good? You bet. Am I an egomaniac? All writers are. Why else would they bother spending months or years writing a book if they didn't think it was worth everyone's time to read it and love it? Will I win a Pulitzer and make my millions? Yes. Will I autograph your copy of my book? Of course. Stay tuned for updates and progress reports: and if anyone knows a literary agent who would like to make a pretty penny when this book tops the New York Times Bestseller List, then send them my way.